Monday, September 28, 2009


All of ten, he had come to see the huge City of Joy, flooded with lights, adorned with beautiful and artistic ‘pandals’ at every nook and corner, with loud deafening music of Hindi movies on the streets. He had come with his rustic dad, who was equally overwhelmed by the sight of Kolkata’s magnanimity. The city seemed to embrace everyone, irrespective of their caste, social profile etc, with a warm smile and a loving hug.

They had boarded a bus, probably for the first time. For people who have no idea of the buses of Kolkata, let me give you a rough idea. They keep filling till you choke inside and people hang out of the doors like a bunch of monkeys. But luckily the boy and his father got themselves a much coveted window seat. The boy had wide open eyes and it seemed, he wanted to take back home the whole of the city - the fun, the noise and the essence, imbedded in his mind. He was collecting stories which he could share with his less fortunate friends who never had a chance to visit Kolkata.

The bus was filling up fast with people - ‘Urban’ and ‘Well educated’ men, women, children, all decked up and looking their best. There was already a commotion inside. To be able to stand still without being stepped on, or being hit by someone’s elbow seemed practically impossible. People gave cold stares at the rustic duo as they occupied the seat which otherwise could have been taken by anyone else…The local Miss India with her painted face, the middle aged mother of two, the elderly man in Kurta Pajama. But all these people were not lucky to get that seat and were somehow managed to stand still as the bus raced along the road.

Suddenly, the ‘little boy’ grew restless. “I want to throw up, I want to throw up,” he told his father. A more confused dad, completely unaware of the ways of the city, didn’t know what to do. Before he could think of anything, the ‘little boy’ threw up- And hell broke loose.

People standing close to them, waiting for their turn to take the seat were repelled as if struck by lightning. Immediately in a rippling action the pandemonium spread. It was a wild fire. One could hear a growing shuffling of the feet and groan and grunts from the far corners with the precariously hanging passengers nearly thrown out of the bus. A mini rampage set the whole place astir. There were stiletto jabs, elbow knocks, missing bags and broken finger nails. There were shrieks and cries and angry shouts from all over. The duo in their pool of yellow slush was the least of the problems but they were the villain of the piece alright. “Why do the buses allow such villagers who have got no civic sense?” shouted a middle aged man carrying a small girl of his own. “Hey you stupid oaf, jut the boy’s head out of the window. He’ll ruin our dresses,” shouted another woman.

The perplexed father couldn’t even comfort his terrified son. He had no clue what to do. He tried to push his little head outside the window to assuage the crowd. He was like Abraham trying to please the God. “Just put your head out,” he said with great annoyance. He was not angry with the child. He was unable to handle the indignity they were thrown into. He was just flushed and angry and humiliated and it showed in his face.

“No, daddy pleases … the wheels the wheels” was all the frightened boy could manage to say. His body was crocked up uncomfortably, his throat choking in the firm grip of his father. His face was smeared with tears, dirt and water. His new clothes were soiled. His father’s clothes were soiled too. He wondered if he was being punished for his vile act. In his meek voice, he simply told his dad, “I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again.”

He wanted to go back home to his mother, amidst his own people. He wanted to be pampered, to be asked thousand of times how he felt, to be offered some cold water and lime to make him feel a bit better, to be assured that “Nothing’s wrong, it’s absolutely OK.”

But to the contrary, things were so different here. Not a single soul had a kind and healing word for them. Everyone looked down on the ‘little boy’ as if he was some criminal. People covered their noses with their hankies. The women, who probably have mothered so many children, shouted the most. The Miss India made an act as if she had never witnessed something so horrid and would throw up herself. A man, all decked up, yelled “Get off the bus, you moron. People like you should not be allowed on public transports”.

They rebuked him, made him feel like a pest in the world full of colourful people who only physically resembled him and his hapless father.

Like frightened new born calf he shuddered now and then and sat glued to his father. They both seemed to seek refuge in the other. They seemed inseparable in their pain. All the excitement in the boy’s eyes had been replaced by awe and horror. He was stunned to see his city of joy suddenly reveal it ugly fangs and its gnawing claws.

I reached out and gave the father my chilled bottle of water for his son. But the ‘little boy’ refused to take it. I was taken aback. What must have that little soul gone through, that he refused water when he needed it the most?

He reminded me of my chartered bus trip to Digha when I was his age. We didn’t have a car at that time, so we were on a chartered bus – One of those old and rusty one which rattled each time it dropped in a pothole. I used to get sick in them Felt nauseas each time and would eventually throw up. My mom had tried all sorts of things to make me feel comfortable - Feeding me an hour before boarding the bus, stuffing me with antacids, not feeding me at all, feeding me on the bus etc. But nothing would help. I would inevitably feel sick at the smell of petrol and would just throw up.

Later my mother came up with this ingenious idea of carrying plastic bags for an emergency puke attack. She knew my fear of jutting my head out of the window in the National Highways with buses coming from opposite direction at the speed of light.

Puking till date makes me very uncomfortable. Memories of that day, memories of the pinched expressions on the faces of the co passengers have infused in me the fear of puking in public. If I am sick now I have to isolate myself completely from everyone even from my parents. And every time I throw up, I cry. I feel this strange, inexplicable pain within. My body seems to refuses to take part in the activity against gravity.

The little boy brought it all back. While others would have pressed ctrl alt del and forgotten that little incident the moment they got down of the bus, amidst the gaiety of the Pujas, I could not forget the pain in his eyes.

I felt ashamed of being part of the city people who showed no compassion to him and treated him like a dog. I felt embarrassed at our hollowness in the midst of the plenty we project. I felt guilty I couldn’t hold him and comfort him when he needed it most. What stopped me?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Cause for living

My pet cat -Turi was running a fever for the last few days . I acted the doctor for some while but yesterday she stopped peeing completely and that scared me . She pissed once in the morning ,and it was syrupy and I have never seen a more yellow piss in my life.

She's lethargic .looks sad and lost . and sleeping 24X7 . I hate her this way . She should be running all the time ,spreading happiness every time I hold her ,tease her ,pamper her . But she was not even close to it .

I took her to the vet yesterday evening .I liked it when everybody present there went GAGA over her . She was certified as the most well behaved cat on the face of the earth . And undoubtedly she is .

She patiently sat there in the clinic for more than 2 hours until her name was called out . The vet took her temperature . For me it was kinda painful - shoving up the thermometer into the posterior .But she managed it well . After diagnosing her , she was asked to be put on saline .

My heart stopped beating . Saline???? what the F ? Turi couldn't be that sick .Was she ?

I called up Mom . She made it to the clinic on time . Thank God !

Then she was put on saline. She was meowing so hard ... It was hurting her and it was hurting me manifolds.

After 30 mints of ordeal I brought her home . She had this "Finally ,I'm back " kind of expression .She had her food after almost 3 days .Had normal pee . And slept peacefully .
She's ok now. recovering . thank god once again !
I have never felt so strongly for anyone till now ... Yesterday I understood what Turi means to me ..... She's my baby .

This blog might seem to be a piece of crap for many . But this is me ... An ardent animal lover .
I cant bear to see their pain , their destitution. And my heart always reaches out for their help .But I can do so little alone - Funding posing the greatest threat .At times I feel tired of fighting against so many oppositions - the biggest coming from my dad .I wish I had some more helping hands who would think alike and come forward to join me in this little mission of "Saving Animals from Misery " aka "SAM" =)...(named it just now)

So any fellow Calcuttan who seems to be interested in doing something more human , something we are actually here for mail me at with the subject SAM .
Thanks in advance .I'll be waiting .

P.S : Please send in your suggestions about any NGO you know about through which I can help these poor souls .

Any kind of help ,no matter how small it is will be appreciated... Let's start with suggestions .

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Bong Connexion

Had a lovely day yesterday . Away from the so called sophistication , away from the malls which has become the latest fad now .Went to Minto Park with my boyfriend . Had some work there . Then we walked till 22 Camac Street .The scorching sun , the sweltering heat though uncomfortable seemed so pleasant after such a long time . There we avoided Westside and Panatoons .Instead , strictly stuck to the roadside stalls :)

Had a barf-gola (kala khatta) .... It was worth 25 bucks . I mean I'm so tired of having Baskin Robbins ,Gellatino and Kwality Walls swirls. They burn a hole in my pocket but somehow cannot touch the heart . My boyfriend who has this immense fetish for saving grumbled for having to spend 25/- on ice alone but then I knew that even he was enjoying the unconventional which strangely was so familiar and close to our heart.

Then we called another friend and decided to watch Angshumaner Chhobi at Nandan .

It was just 1.00 pm and the movie was scheduled at 4.15 . So we had to spend 3 long hours . So we took a cab till Nandan . Bought 4 tickets . Then we walked back till Haldirams.

Had our grub there . Cheap and filling =)

We still had 1 hour to spend. So me and my guy again walked till Emami Starmark . fidgeted with some books and then in an hour walked till Nandan again. But then 2 of our friends had arrived .

So we watched the movie. It was a nice movie .A bit philosophic but good.Nandan is a different experience completely . So much better then a multiplex but so much BONG .

After the movie we took a BUS till Park Street .From there ,we walked along the footpath . It was such a different experience after such a long time. From there I got the entire twilight series (pirated though) worth 450/- .

Beat that =)

My guy bought a fake Reebok bag worth 200/- . All of them had left the bargaining to me . I'm good at it ...

And then we were awfully hungry , so again from the Indian Museum we walked till Mac D -Park Street . Had Chicken Mac Grill and Iced Tea (its my fave).

And then we boarded the Metro and came back home . A day well spent but at the cost of terrific foot ache :(

We have become so rusted from within that now a walk gives us foot ache and non AC markets makes the mercury of our temper soar higher and higher . We all have become sophisticated bongs now . We think that a shopping not done at South City Mall is not shopping at all . We have completely forgotten places like New Market ,Park Street footpaths ,Gariahat,College street so on and so forth.

But these are the places where a BONG's heart will always be and always crave for visiting .

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This one's for you Chand :)

Today Chandni mailed me . Well for people who doesn't know her - she's my best friend. She's mad,adorable,crazy and she's every awful thing you can think a person to be. But she's my sweetheart .She is probably the only friend I have who lets me be what I am. I never ever had to mask my feelings in front of her. She's the most unselfish and honest person I have ever come across.

Our friendship is not a very old one. I met her in my college . She was in a different section . There was this buzz that theres this girl ,Chandni who's super brilliant and everbody would die to reserve a seat close to hers during the semesters. I didn't know her then personally . One day I asked a friend of mine to show me who this super intelligent gal was. Oh my god ! she was there . hair trimmed like a guy , full of facial hair , a bit plump ,short and stout .She walked with her head held high and the very first impression I drew about her was - Arrogant and haughty .

Then in our second year ,we happened to be in the same section . She was undergoing this transition phase in her life then . The woman in her was coming out gradually and the boy had taken a backseat . She was starting to look beautiful .Long hair , casual look , low waist jeans , a dirty rag bag and full of crappy accessories. I honestly never liked college because it lacked cool people. The guys and gals of our college , i mean 95% of them were bookworms.They used to come with heavy bags full of books and I never managed to find a single like minded person until I met my crazy bitch . :-) . So , basically i never spoke to anyone much. Not even to Chandni as I still harbored my first impression about her .

But one fine day , we exchanged smiles and then a few Hellos and before we knew it we started connecting to each other . And in a month we were friends .I realized that i was completely wrong 'bout her . She was the most down to earth person I had ever met . Then I understood that she never spoke to anybody as she felt the same like me . Even she had no friends in college .We were alike :) ... And soon enough we started freaking out together .We enjoyed each other's company a lot. She was the speaker most of the time and I was the patient listener .She was the comic character and I was the drama queen ... We somehow complemented each other. She had this huge potential of making me laugh all the time no matter how grave a situation i would be into.

I have loads of memories with her which i would have loved to pen down ...But this space is not enough . We locked ourselves in a suffocating 2 by 2 loo cabin full of shit to search for an answer from a book which we had hid there as we knew that no one would ever enter that HELL .
We were kind of deserted at my place during monsoon when it rained heavily for 4 days continually . My folks were at my aunts and even they couldnt not come back home . The city was all flooded. We literally thrived on my cooking skills :) .. there are many more such memories which are there in the album of my heart .

But then like all good things have an unpleasant turning ,this one too had 1 . Last month she left for USA for her Master Program . I'm very happy for her , for the decision she has taken . And I know that geographical distance can't diminish our frienship .But I miss her. I miss her in happiness and in sorrows. I wish I had her with me here as she was the only friend I had. And today she wrote to me .She's not happy there in USA . She can't concentrate and can't tackle the pressure .And she wanted me to write to her as I have always been her strength . It touched me immensely.I wrote her a long mail . I could feel her listlessness , her inhibitons . I wish I could be there with her . We could have made this journey together and wouldn'y have felt the fatigue at all .I gave her all my GYANS free of cost =) and I hope she gets a grip on herslef and lead a lovely life there .

Monday, September 14, 2009


It's been a very tiring evening ... I went over to teach the small boy . He's got Maths test tomorrow - Division .. So i took a small test and he did well ... but was too slow .. I spent an extra hour with him to get things straight.. He's a small kid of class 3 ,so couldn't even rush .

Came back home at around 10 p.m . And was sitting at my PC for checking my mails . Suddenly there was this cacophony ... After checking out from the balcony saw that a building behind ours has caught fire .. People were shouting at the top of their voices.

Me ,mom,dad,my cat and our domestic help all went up to the terrace to catch a better view .
OMG ! I had never seen a deadlier site ..... The building was aflame . No idea if there's been any casualty .I hope not . The gas cylinders were bursting with huge , trembling sound .... The fire reached great heights and the black smoke curled upwards like a huge gaseous spiral .

The fire workers came after a couple of minutes , but by then i guess 75% of the damage had been done .Came down from the terrace after the fire was taken under control . My friend's mom expired a few months back . Her dress had caught fire while she was lighting candles during her daily worship . The flames reminded me of nothing but her face ...
What heights of pain she must have had endured for more than a month and then finally gave in ...

Through this blog of mine I just want everyone who reads it to spend at least 10 secs and wish Aunty happiness and peace where ever she is now ...
Pray for her eternal rest ....

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Few Things I can't live without

There are few very important things I can't live without .. U can say I am very possessive about them and can't share them with anyone ...

Thought that it will be quite interesting to put up on my blog . So here it goes =)

  1. My cell phone - I'm blind without my Nokia N73 .
  2. My computer with internet connection . I cant live a single non - internet day . It's like O2 to me .
  3. My room . Wherever I go , whatever I do , coming back to my room is like Heaven .
  4. My guy Soumya. I need him despite the fact that we are poles apart . I love him too much to let go of him . Nothing tops him .
  5. My parents . Whatever I am it's because of them . I love them a lot.
  6. My cat Turu . She's my baby ... To know more about her read my blog Turu-my-baby.
  7. My dresses .Ha =) . I cant part with any of my fave dresses , no matter how old and dilapidated they are . I'm crazy about everything in my wardrobe .
  8. Food . I can't share my platter with anyone . I would even go to the extent of killing if anyone even dares to touch my food . Specially if its a pizza ,a KFC Zinger burger or momos .Rest I can still spare some .
  9. My watch . I check the time in my cell phone . But I am obsessed about my watch .
  10. My collection of books . I don't share them with anybody .
  11. My pillows . They are exclusively mine .
  12. My collection of soft toys . I have loads of them .
  13. My DVD collection . Still in the making .
  14. My few good friends . I am too possessive about a few . And at times when they get close to someone else I go Grrrrrrrr...
  15. Last but not the least - My space . I need my freedom more than anything else . I feel DEAD without my freedom .

Cleaning my closet ...

I have grown up believing in fairy tales that my mom used to read to me when I was a little child .I always had this notion that ,there's someone made for me ... Some prince charming who would sweep me off my feet and I would live happily ever after . But with age , I realized that there are no 'Happily ever afters' in real life. I have been very unlucky in love until I met my guy a year back .

I still remember the day when my X walked out of the 5 year old relation which I was sure would work out . I was completely devastated and shattered . I thought that probably I would never be able to move on in life .But time is the best healer . It didn't heal the would at all . It's still fresh and raw .But it's been able to calm it down to a great extent . I was so very proud of my previous relation .Thought that it was perfect in every way . I loved my guy more than myself .And i guess he did too. But then gradually it started to wear down and finally gave up.

"I am not the commitment guy "- that was his reason for turning back on me . I really didn't find it necessary to reason out with him as i just knew that it was over. And then he moved on . But my closet was still unclean with the remains of the skeletons . I somehow was in kind of a haze.
I joined work . Got some real good friends there . And whatever I am now ,I owe it to those 3 friends who showed me the path ahead .They were there like my guardian angels .They probably still have no idea ,what they meant to me at that juncture of life.

I forced myself to live . For me Breathing alone was life .I had lost interest in every little thing . Everything was a show ,a forced display of the fact that I have moved on . I started suffering from self pity . Every second millions of relations die out , but I felt that I am the only unfortunate creature who had been subjected to this pain .

And then after a year ,Soumya happened .It was probably the most unplanned and unpredictable moment of my life . I never had imagined in the wildest of my fantasies that the quiet , bookish ,meritorious guy from my class would display his affections for me .That too ,I came to know that he had been loving me for all those 5 years when I was into my previous relationship silently and secretly.

When he proposed to me , I simply cried . I don't know what was I crying for ? Was it out of happiness or it had dawned on me suddenly that finally my closet was clean . I cried for the entire night. He took me in his arms and asked me to stop . But I had absolutely no clue what happened that night. 3 years of pain that I had kept bottled up within was finally giving way . I didn't know myself that I had so much pain inside me . That day I realized how much I loved my X . He was everywhere .I always had this feeling that he was there beside me but I couldn't touch him . We were separated by this thin invisible wall . But that night , the wall had broken and I realized that I was not yet over . I too had a life ahead and it could be nurtured again . Seeds of love could be planted once more .And i cried of sorrow ,happiness, relief .More than anything I cried for being able to move on .

Since then , we have been together . My X is there within me like a happy memory . A memory that I want to cherish all my life . A memory that will remind me of who I was for those 5 years of my life .And now I love Soumya dearly . I would not trade him for anything .I have just made myself understood that he's my destiny . We have nothing in common . We are poles apart , complete foil to each other . I guess that's the life support system of our relation .

Another 3 years and I am planning marriage . And hopefully i shall have a semi "Happily ever after " life if not a complete one . And standing at this juncture of life , when I got the love of my life ,I am happy and content with the way life is treating me ,I want God to give my X all that he had ever asked for .And even if a day comes when i finally start hating him , I am sure that the piece of me that he had taken with him the day he walked out on me ,would always wish the very best for him .

Finally I have my love with me and my closet is clean .... I have moved on :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Turu - My Baby

My Baby

Little dirty beast

Turu now
Growing up
Just a few months old

I rescued her 3 years back from an abandoned house . It was raining like cats and dogs outside.The previous night I heard its shrill ,helpless cry .Mom asked me to go out and check out if she needed any help . I didn't bother . I knew that the moment I set my eyes on that little creature , my heart would melt and I would bring her home to safety . And the consequence would be Dad wrecking havoc at home ,threatening to bring in all the homeless and turn me out of the house . I don't blame him though . 25 years of my madness he's been putting up with .

So the whole night she went on screaming . And I covered my ears with a pillow . I didn't want to know that she even existed . The next morning it was still drizzling outside .I got up ,completely oblivious to her existence . And then after an hour or so , she started again . This time it was even louder and was full of pathos . It somehow hit my K-spot (Kindness spot) and I couldn't refrain myself . Dressed in a shorts and a T , I ran downstairs to check her out .

There she was - frail as a butterfly , wet as a sponge ,dirty as a rag .She had taken shelter in the balcony of this abandoned house .I summoned her .But she didn't budge . She seemed to be scared to death . She probably had seen death too closely .She must have been a month old .I was reduced to a combo of pity and kindness on the spot.

Inspite of calling her so many times , she didn't seem to trust me at all . And why would she ? It must have been some one like me ,who in cold blood had abandoned her on the streets .I managed to clamber up the railings .And then stretched out my hand as far as I could and got hold of the little tail .She struggled to free herself from my grip . She surely must have had thought that I was going to kill her . I jumped down and pressed her close to my heart . At that very moment a bond was formed . A bond of trust , faith , security . A bond of friendship .

I brought her back home . Mom gave her some milk . But she seemed to have lost her appetite . She seemed to have thrived on fear alone She was shaken to her very soul .All day she slept . She got up , drank a bit of warm milk and then slept again .The whole day she just slept . Probably she was trying hard to feel safe once again . Whenever she woke up , she would cry .Probably for her mom .Mom and I did all that we could do to make her feel at home and safe .

When Dad came home , it took him no time to turn into a blasting furnace. "You can't keep this thing at home " ,he yelled ." Leave her at the local market where she can fend for herself " .
But i was stubborn as well . Her eyes spoke a different language . I could hear her speak in human tongue . She pleaded to all of us "Don't abandon me once again ,please .I'm just a month old baby " ,she cried as if .And I made up my mind .

3 years it's been and now she's very much a part of the family . We can't think of our family without her . She's no more that frail little beast . But a fluffy , strong ,confident ,haughty lady .
She's the meaning of LIFE . She'e FAMILY .She's our baby - Turi.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The lonely mushroom

On my trip to Shantiniketan last year I took some photos .Photographs of lonely creatures standing tall . This mushroom was one of them . This was the soul creature on a huge tree trunk on the premise of the great Rabindra Baharati University .

People were busy capturing the different houses built by Tagore ,the small children in bright colourful clothes under the scorching sun ,couples almost hanging on each other . Nobody even noticed this silly dull thing on this huge tree . It was staring at everyone , was smiling at the stupidity of people probably .May be it wanted to break free off the tree and join its friends .I watched it for quite some time .It seemed to me like a marvel of nature .I don't know why , but I felt sad for it .Somewhere it resembled me - Lonely amidst a sea of people.
I wondered if at times it felt depressed like me , it felt like voicing out so many thoughts that forms a complicated mesh in its head .

I continued staring at it unless my friend nudged me at my elbow . "What do you find so great about this mushroom ?" , he asked me . I didn't have an answer .I just smiled.I couldn't tell him that I see myself in it and it's not funny . Trust me , I would have been sent to an asylum straight away had I even mentioned it .

The rainy afternoon and the lazy me

It's been raining for the past few days nonstop . I was watching Pink Panther 2 just for time pass. My pet cat has had her share of cat food and from what I can make out, has taken the shape of a mass of white fur ... in fact she's even snoring ;)

It's 3.45 pm now and the sky is gray . I haven't seen a touch of blue in the sky for the last few days.The met people are saying that its a depression which is causing these torrential downpours . Well who cares , I'm enjoying it .

My TV is out of order for quite some time now . So now this computer is my only source of entertainment u can say apart from my books .And recently I have grown this interest in blogging ,though I don't find much to write about.

I'v been stifling yawns for quite some time now which i guess is a clear indication that I need to take a nap. So long ..

Monday, September 7, 2009

Why is there war around when peace is so beautiful

I don't understand why do people like fighting so much ? I mean what do u actually gain through a war ?Death of the innocents , destruction of property ,bankruptcy etc. Give me one good outcome of a war ?

We humans are supposed to be the most advanced of all the living beings .But what is the use of being so when we cant make out the good from the evil ? People start fighting from such an early age ... Children fight about their belongings and when they grow up , the craving for power also increases.Adults fight about so many issues .Money ,fame , power being a few of them .

Lovely minds, cities , countries , nations - every little and big things are destroyed to the very core and the outcome is nothing but destruction . I really at times get clueless about our life !!!
All of us here have a purpose - a distinct motive . Why cant that b PEACE and LOVE ?

I am so damn frustrated with this kind of life , where we fight for every single thing . Be it a seat in a bus or a seat at a parliament .. Nothing can be achieved from peaceful negotiation , is it ?
Look what war can do a city ?
Which one looks better ? We the supposedly intelligent race is breaking the world into pieces and still it does not occur to us that our actions can actually boomerang back at us .
I plead everybody to STOP ! It's been enough for Christ sake .. Stop thinking about our own selfish needs and let's place ourselves in others shoes .Lets think about others before thinking about ourselves and make a difference in the lives of the mass.
Every drop of water was important while the ocean was being formed.Likewise , every small good deed by an individual can make this world,which is going to the docks , a much better place to live in . A place where people can smile freely without having a seed of fear and hatred growing within into a giant tree of violence .
Think about it .It's worth a thought ....

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Good Bye Chand

You are leaving the town
But our bond will be as it has always been
With time I hope it gets even stronger
Let geography not come in between

You shall always be with me in spirit
Coz you are my only friend
I'm broke at present;Sorry couldn't buy you a gift
So through this all my love and good wishes I send

Enjoy your life like there's no tomorrow
Forget your past ,your losses and sorrows
But don't you dare forget me there
Coz even you know that I'm your only friend who cares

So with a tear and a smile ,i bid you good bye
I cant promise you that I won't cry
But please bring me a gift when you come back
So long , Good Bye n Good Luck !

Happy Valentine's day - For my love

Frank Anthony Public School, in the year 2001

My first day in 11 Science, and there I met someone

He was the monitor of the class and soon we became friends

It is the beginning of a Story that was written without an end -

Written by God himself; with us He played a game

He made us meet and made us part

But kept the bond the same.

School got over, he left the town

But somehow we kept in touch,

Through Seldom calls and online chats

But we never saw each other much.

And then fate brought him back to town

At a friend’s wedding we all came down

There after 4 long years again we all met

And there we planned a little trip; I guess it was preset

16th August-it was D day

When I first saw him going out of his way -

To tell me how he felt for me for all these 5 long years,

I was stumped and could hardly speak

My throat was clogged with tears

Since then, till now and for years to come

I know that he's my and I am his 'Chosen One'.

So this is our little story and a great way to say –

I love you dear; you are very Special and –

“Happy Valentine’s Day “


Would You ?

Would you still love me dear
When I'm no more in your town ?

would you still wait for me
Until the sun sets down ?

Would you still buy me dresses
When I'm left with no penny ?

Would I still be your one and only
Amongst your friends so many ?

Would you still come to see me
While I'm down with a 104 ?

Would you still be the first one to wish me
On my B'day when I open my door ?

Would you still hug me tight
When I'm upset and down ?

Would you still do anything to cheer me up
When I lose my smiles and frown ?

Would you still think of me
While you'r ready to go to bed ?

Would you still get mad at me
When I try to do something and screw things up insted ?

Would you still fight with me
About small and silly things ?

Would you still pretend to not hear me
When I talk about my wedding ring ?

Would you still wish to have me
As your lawfully wedded wife ?

Coz I would still be loving you
For all my God damn life .

I would think of you daily
You shall always remain in my heart.

As long as I love you
Even death can't do us part.

I'm going because you ask me to
But my love shall stay with you ,

I'm just afraid that you would forget me
So I'm asking - Would you ?

What u made of me

Together we spent splendid moments
Moments of love and care
Together we grew up in love and life
A single life we both shared

Then there came a moment
When a chill crept between us
U started despising the word 'Together'
It became u and me - and no more 'US'

U stayed away from me for days
And days counted to years
A foolish me and ignorant as i was
Bore it all with tears

I thought of u daily
U were always there on my mind
I tried bringing u back somehow
But the old you i could no more find

Finally u said it , the 3 grave words
The words that ruined my life
They turned my life upside down
And cut through my heart like a knife

You no more wanted to be a part of me
And wanted a life of your own
You said 'You wanna quit ' and broke my heart
As if it was made of stone

You ousted me out of your house
And i didn't know where to go
I stood there alone with tears shut in my eyes
Drained of all strength for any further to go

I lost my faith , i lost it all
My smiles faded away
And now it's an act of happiness
That i manage to put up everyday

Alone r we ?

Life so full of so many things ;hardly any time for socializing , family , friends and above everything ourselves. Everyday we meet so many people starting from home to office/college/school and back home.But in this huge ocean of similar breeds we are sill alone.Today we have relatives ,friends,well wishers .But think of it , if a day comes when you are left with nothing -wealth,fame,looks; nothing at all ,are you still going to have everybody by you ?well the answer is obvious .a big 'NO".
when we dont have someone to love us we crave for one . we think that we are lonely. we feel jealous whenever we cross happy couples walking hand in hand.we curse god for not giving us a shoulder to lean on , a hand to hold ,someone special to love.But no sooner than we get the special person than we start feeling choked .
i have seen so many relations.the time they are born they are probably the most heavenly thing on the face of the earth . but very soon they breathe out their last breath and fall dead.the girl complains that 'He didnt give me enough time' and the guy complains ' i hardly had any time for myself'.And again both gets lost in the crowd of zillions as 'Lonely'.
at times i feel that more than desiring to fall in love , we desire to fall out of Loneliness.we fear to stay alone .we are scared that at times of solitude, we might come face to face with 'OURSELF' by the true sense of the word and that's going to be tough .
we like living for others .we love to please others before pleasing ourselves. thats what we have turned ourselves into . its like the least of all the things we love is 'US'. And since we cannot love ourselves , we cannot love others as well . but thats what we want . we want to love others and want to be loved.
Everyday we meet our friends , hang out whenever we find time , but as soon as the day wraps up a gloom encircles our life . at times i feel that its like the Dementors of Harry Potter. They suck out every lil good feeling from us .we sulk all the time cribbing about things we dont have.
singles sulk about loneliness, couples complain about each other and wish for a more free life , students crib about education and thinks how good it would be to be working , corporates crib about life in Office and how good were those school days(mind it they are the ones who ones cribbed when they were students) . so u see "THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE"...
Today more and more people are suffering from the same disease and that's FRUSTRATION . theres no remedy for this disease . No doc can help a frustrated mind.only oneself can help .
When i sit back at home , i get bored . i feel alone ,crave for company , always feel like moving out of the house , hang out with friends.when i am at office just the reverse happens .i get tired of talking to people . i get tired of company and long for a lil space i can call exclusively mine and the first name that come to my mind is - HOME .
so u see we human beings are never satisfied . and this sense of dissatisfaction is the main cause of our loneliness.we are somehow getting lost within ourselves. we are so afraid of coping up with loneliness that we are ready to embrace slavery in any form .when we cannot think of living our own life , we start living for others. just to escape loneliness.
i know that all that i am writing will probably make very lil sense .but there's so much within me and trust me i fail to construct my inner voice into properly arranged english sentences.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Watched 'Aranye Din Ratri' a few days back . Whoa ! i was simply bowled over ... How can ne 1 make a movie of that kind , a movie so not like a movie .... Its the best movie ever made by Satyajit Ray ...

I still go weak in my knees at the very sight of Soumitra Chatterjee (he's my grandpa's age) ... And he looked simply stunning in that movie ... AT times i feel that bengali actors of such calibre should have got the recognition they deserved . I mean Amitabh Bachchan's name is known by every one under the bule sky . They should watch Soumitra ,Rabi Ghosh ,Uttam Kumar .... Man it was some movie ...

The movie was about 4 friends from Calcutta who goes on a trip to the jungles of Palamau .. they want to break all ties with civilization .Rabi Ghosh (aka Shekhar) burns a Statesman and says that they no longer have any connection with the civilized socielty ...

The tribals of India are so deprived . they live in utter poverty ... They have no idea of the developements that's taking place around them , in the very land which they are a part of . and out of this sheer negligence and deprivation ,terrorism takes birth ...

Satyajit Ray has potrayed this in such a subtle manner ... Soumitra bribes the poor caretaker of the forest bunglow to get themselves a room as they had no prior reservation and thanks 'Corruption' for succeeding in persuading the caretaker .

Our generation goes GA- GA over movies like 'Dil chahta Hai '.But with all due respect to Farhan Akhtar ,'Aranye Din Ratri ' is the father of the former. it is also based on the lives of 4 guys but it delivers a message ,shows the real India and the real Indians (poor and deprived -budding terrorists) ...

If anybodu reads this blog of mine I request the same to watch the movie ... It has Eng subtitiles for non bongs to follow ....