I can breathe now.
It's me alone who knows the trauma that I had to endure for the past 10 months.The very fact that I was financially dependent on my dad and my boyfriend made me feel like a cripple.
I just enjoy that fact that I am working. At times I don't enjoy the work I have been assigned to.But the fact that I am working is like a driving force - my 2nd oxygen one can say. And finally , now I know what makes me the happiest - it's work and independence.
I like this corporate culture. I like this coming to office regularly,logging into a machine, waiting for the lunch hour, meeting up with friends, discussing work with seniors and then at the end of the day, going back home.This probably will never ever become monotonous for me , because I have understood the worth of it's absence in my life. I used to meet people , hardly eligible for any service, but they were there making money. And somewhere down, in some dark, secluded corner of my heart and mind , I used to suffer from this excruciating pain.Whenever I used to spot them, i used to avoid then intentionally . I used to avoid facing their innumerable questions, used to shun their pitiful eyes.
Though, it was no fault of mine , I couldn't stop blaming myself for having lost my previous job. Today, after getting my hands on the system, dealing with the official documents, accessing the official mails - I simple felt alive once more.
In this course of 10 months, different people suggested me different things. Few people suggested me to take tuition , which I did and that was a saviour. It helped me take care of my credit card bills.Thanks to them . Few people advised me to get married, as they considered me unfit for work. I hope they must have got their answer by now. Few warned me of the global economic condition, and that it was quite unlikely for me to bag a job in this market with just an experience of 2 years. But, I knew that I had to be patient. All my learning, my degree, my education just couldn't go wasted. And here I am , enjoying the fruits of my patience.
Earlier I used to feel suffocated , but now I can breathe freely. I can smell the air fresheners which almost chokes me in the enclosed office.I can hear the coffee vending machine beeping at a distant corner, as someone fills a cuppa. I can hear people typing on their key-boards, and trust me it's music to me now.
WOW ! this feeling is simply awesome. It's inexpressible.
Everyday, I reach home , dog tired. But, earlier I used to stay back home all day, but at the end of the day would be a vegetable, devoid of any will and energy to carry on. But now, in spite of all the tiredness, I feel full of energy as I am mentally contented and happy.
I have realized one thing - WORK IS THE ELIXIR OF MY LIFE. IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP ME GOING.
